Marriage Basics ... WHY, IF, WHEN, & WHOM To Marry

• See Article; Renew your Marriage Mindset

...Contents...

• WHY TO MARRY
• IF TO MARRY
• WHEN TO MARRY
• WHOM TO MARRY

...IF to marry...

• Should I marry?
• Is Marriage biblically mandatory

We must be careful what we learn as many are mislead when scripture is taken of context, and we are at battle to know what is the truth, because we know of the agenda to distort the truth and lead many astray. Still researching on that but "my understand" from scriptural facts so far ...

God created them MALE AND FEMALE (not man and wife), and blessed them and said be fruitful and MULTIPLY (multiplying can also also be independent of being fruitful???) ... It is not good for man to be alone ??? so does it mean he MUST marry, or woman (not wife) was created to help him ... does God talking about the order of becoming one as a structure of function??? God does tell us though, IF we do marry (implying choice)??? 
God does "encourage" (not optional) widows to remarry to avoid slander (1 Timothy 5:14), and Paul advises if one CANT control themselves (meaning if he could, then he doesnt have to if he so desires?), it is better marry, than burn with lust (1 Corinthians 7:8-9) ... but also Paul tells us that its not optional to marry, marriage isnt for everyone, him for one.

...10 Reasons NOT to marry...
• If you feel you arent ready
We must become what we are looking for, and those qualities can take time to become a natural part of you. You still have major issues to deal with such as forgiveness, lack of trust.
•  You are unhappy
Marriage is 2 people, who are already happy individually, getting together to build a life together, atleast the definition of a happy marriage. Its best not to get married if you have the preconceived notion that you will will marry so someone can make you happy... happier, yes, but not happy. Joy is found in Christ, seek that first otherwise, you not only not find what you are looking for in marriage but also make another miserable.
 • If you cant find anyone ideal
Of course, if you have things you need to work through, you find it hard to get along with another. Changing relationships isn't going to change you, its only a matter of time before you show up again! Commit to working with GOD as he renews you and become a virtuous woman who is ideal and attractive for a man who is ready to marry.
• If you feel time pressure?
Does society say you are running out of time? Does it tell you are running out time? Biologically?
• If you feel like you are the only single one left?

Are all your friends married?
• If you feel family pressures?
Such pressure end us up with the wrong person. Not taking the necessary time to build friendships and get to know the other person; to see if their beliefs and values are in alignment with us. To see if our personalities compliment each other. To see if they are heading the same way we are.
• Are you afraid or feel uncomfortable being alone? 
Are you embarrassed to say you are single? Society has tainted being single as though you are damaged and incapable of relating. Don't feel compelled by society to rush into a phase you are not ready for. Sometimes we are not used to be alone, but this is a great time to discover who you are, what you you enjoy and a whole lot more about you.

I would say society encourages marriage, but it doesn't anymore. In fact it encourages the opposite, living together with no commitment, free to leave whenever the other pleases, or rather whenever one feels their needs aren't met.

...WHOM to marry...

...Is it up to me to find my ideal marriage partner or do i wit on God for my soul mate ...
This part explores if you re to go find your partner and what to look for when searching for him. Still researching on that but "my understand" from scriptural facts so far ...

I believe you are responsible of whom you chose and the consequences that come with him. If you chose poorly, you have a very a challenging marriage, and if you chose wisely, you will have a blessed marriage, not challenge free but blessed.

It is our responsibility to be connected to GOD and stay in his will, as this where wisdom and discernment come into play. We can ask God in pray to help us in meeting a person of certain qualities, but ultimately, who we chose, is up to us, and not decided by God. 

Why whom you marry matters ...
Wait a minute I dont understand ... Why are you being mad me at for being me? I thought you married me because you liked who i was??? ... Now why are you trying to change me??? ... Unless you married me for something you thought i was ??? ... or was it my fault that i was trying to impress you so i showed you the man you wanted to see??? ... Only had she waited long enough to see his true character and decided to marry or not to marry him ... and atleast if she did, she would have known,what she getting into, and with him she getting into it with ... Had they also realised who they are eventually does come up and is necessary for things to go smoothly.

... The problem with Soul mates ...
• They are not realThe idea of soul mates in NOT biblical. Infact it comes from greek mythology where it is believed the believers of that god once had 2 heads, 4 arms and 4 legs and the god got made and separated them, so now one must spend his life finding their other half. 

The bible doesnt say we are not complete because we were made from mans rib, or that man complete us, it says you are complete in Christ. Infact, the rib is of the few organs in humans that are known to regenerate.

• Time wasted waiting
Often people, in particular women, find themselves waiting, and they wait and wait and get tired and frustrated, so distracted from fulfilling their purpose of worshiping God and being fruitful. Some even get into the period where their "biological" ability to have children is compromised, still "waiting". 

... 10 Reasons why you might be finding hard to meet someone ...
• Spiritual Issues
• Waiting for God
• Waiting for Love Agape and Philio. Does he understand agape, for it leads the structure.
• Failing to play your part
• Looking in the wrong places 
• You are not his ideal 
• Fear of being unhappy ... Marriage misconceptions 
 
... 10 Ideal Qualities ...
To marry, you have a responsibility TO FIND a good partner. Know what marriage is about ... two people building a life together .. and what it takes to have a successful one, which God has already told us ... does he believe in the principles you do ... i.e. equally yoked ... and ... Gods idea of a STRUCTURE that allows marriage to "PRODUCE LIGHT" i.e. show truth that we are children of God. The structure of man as head and woman as body, the same structure Christ uses with the church.

• Equally yoked
God does tell us though the qualities of what a good partner are, eg do not yoke with "unbelievers". In Solomons case we see where he still made a choice to do it, and because they served different gods, they changed his heart after other gods and it ended up leading him stray.
Abraham told his servant, to sid to FIND his son A good wife, GO to "his people" because he knew their values, and said "do not ever take to him to the Canaanites".

... GODs part ... 
Paul tells us the realities of marriage as being problematic, so its obviously wise, to seek Gods input, and BE PATIENT IN WAITING for him to show IF THEY MAKE AN IDEAL PARTNER for us.
• Alignment
• Discernment 
Abrahams servant said God please help me to pick a good one, please give me a sign. Ask God to to help REVEAL the true qualities of person, helping you control your feelings because feeling arent facts and can easily distract you from seeing reality, etc.  

... Playing your Part ...
God talks of marriage as, YOU finding ..."IF YOU FIND a good wife, then you have found a good thing." or "A good wife blesses her husband."
  
God RARELY specifically told someone whom to marry, and if ever he did, it was for the bigger picture of nation, like with Hosea and Gomer. Even with Mary and Joseph, Joseph had already FOUND and CHOSEN Mary, as they were already engaged, God confirmed it. 

When LOOKING FOR a wife for Issac, Abraham didnt just say, we will wait for God to send us the wife he has planned for my son, he said GO OUT and FIND him a wife, and he says, God will go ahead of you to find "A" wife for my son, not "THE" wife. 

Many people in the bible often picked their wives by choosing what they liked about her, Jacob says Racheal was prettier than her sister, so he loved her, ofcourse among other qualities, but it was still 'A" choice, "HIS" choice.

Mama Naomi gave Ruth some tips on how to position herself... and remember Boaz saying, bless you for YOU didnt decided to end up going for some younger or richer, (implying it was her choice), and if the other guy was not willing to marry her (implying it was his choice), he would (implying his choice), notice we will wait to see if God confirms you are "THE ONE."

... 10 Places to meet him ...
God brings ideals husband around us all the time, especially if we are his will, it is up to us to chose. Even Adam chose Eve. He didnt like any of the animals and finally God presented Eve and HE said, oh yes, i want her, this is the one ideal for me, he said.

1. Be in alignment with Gods will and finding yourself busy in the things of the Lord, you are most likely to find someone also busy in the things of the Lord. 
2. Build friendships and allow yourself the time to get to know if someone is an ideal fit for you Women "go out" and present yourself to your ideal partners. You are most likely to find "ideal partners", who are partners that are equally yoked, in places around the work and things of God.

• What do you like
You probably wan tto meet someone you enjoy being around, spending time together in some common activities. Someone you share commonality with are most likely to be in where you like to be.

• Volunteering
The bible says a woman devoted to the Lord is known not by her dressing, but by her deeds. A good woman is known by her virtues, so seek those virtues, and you in turn become attractive and ideal.*See Articles; How to meet your ideal marriage partner.