21DF Day 5 (Dec 5 2010)

Had Celeste come visit my Church today :) & she enjoyed the service (which was very very different today :) :), but still powerful!). Spending time with this powerful woman was unmeasurable. Excited to see the work God is doing in her & will do through her.

Accidentally started sucking on a mint sweet. 2 seconds later, i was like, hmmm, something's not right here???? Ooooppps, no food! It was right before i was just about to start chewing it! Lucky i hadn't swallowed :). Quickly took it out of my mouth & used the juices to gaggle. Just mouthwash, that all it was, lol. Oh Boy :) :). We need to be in constant prayer for things like this, Amen?

So so cold in Toronto today :).

My roommate would not stop cooking this food that smelt so good. I wanted to go & see for myself & stop these thoughts in my head. Went upstairs to see what exactly she was cooking. That's what it was, a beef stew with some aromatic spices (& garlic)!

We made an arrangement to have a cooking lesson in a few weeks :). 
So now i know, its just beef. I know what beef tastes like, not that curious anymore! I will have some soon, including that Big Dirty Dirty Burger ;).

"Initially" Struggled to go to bed. Was listening to some powerful audios on fasting, incl. one outstanding one by Pastor Ron Gartner called Fasting
(http://www.christianaudiosermons.com/christian-living-spiritual-growth/t03-prayer-fasting-intercession-holy-spirit-audio-mp3/Fasting__Prayer_and_Fasting.mp3).
But still a battle was going on in mind. I need food. How did the Devil enter into my mind? I guarded the doors of mind!

I found myself on you tube, browsing through some cooking recipes, thinking about what i would eat & how i would prepare it. I love cooking so i YouTube cooking recipes all the time, so at first i thought its harmless, i know i am not going to eat anyway. I am just getting inspiration for when i start eating, right? Wrong!

I started having some kind of food anxiety attack! Fighting these overpowering thoughts that kept saying, EAT! EAT! EAT! I couldn't breathe!  Lord, I cant do this by myself, i called out to him. Please help me.

Earlier as i was TRYING hard to get some sleep, i had gone to a place i normally go to rest. It's this serene place, on like a cloud (it might be my imagination of Heaven). God showed me this place in a dream about 2 1/2 years (even before i was saved).

He said, "Come here always my child when the burdens of carrying the world get too much." Back then i used to do things on my own. I was a "Self Help" expert. So i would come here & say, Lord i am resting, please take my battle for a while. When i have enough strength, i will go back out there to the world again.

So, now i go to this place all the time. I see so many people just laying there, resting, in the serenity with God. God is always sitting on his throne, all white (and no, i haven't seen a face, lol). & mostly playing with a child on his lap :). One time i even saw my mum, laying/resting.

I have a very special spot, with my pillow, very close to the God's feet. And i lay there all the time. Now i even walk in the gardens & there is this gorgeous place in the garden, right by the fountain, where angels & humans, are always signing sweet hymns & melodies praising God :). I hang out there a lot these days :) :).

Anyway, so when i started getting these attacks. I ran back to that place & held onto to Gods foot & began to cry. Lord, please help me. Don't let me go back out there. I am SCARED! I cant face the devil. He will temp me & i will eat. I don't want to eat. I want to make it for these 21 Days. Please help me father!

And he said, "Nica, my child. I never gave you fear or a troubled mind. I gave you a spirit of FAITH, power, love & of a sound mind. Don't be afraid of him (the Devil), for he has no power over you, for i am with you! Get up & put on your full Armor & never take it off.  Pick up your sword! I am with you ALWAYS! :)" At once, i felt FAITH fill me as i picked up my shield & sword. The fear had left me! 10 minutes later, i fell peacefully to sleep :). Amen!
(Reference Bible verses: 2 Tim 1vs7 & Ephesians 6vs 10)

Summary
The Word & Prayer will be my Food for the next 3 weeks. I will fill my mind with thoughts of walking in the Spirit & having such a close connection to God in this 21DF.

I have decided to study & write a chapter on, "The Armor of God" over this 21DF. Thoughts of how i will prepare the notes on the Armor will fill my mind. Over lunch i will meditate on Ephesians 6 & listen to audios on the Armor & at each meal time, write notes on it.

I will imagine marinating the Chapter with a touch of some verses from Matthew & other scriptures, a dash of creativity & bake it all in the truth & revelation of the Holy Spirit, Amen!

*Please watch the blog for the Ron Gartner notes on Fasting.

NicaKan, Paradigm Shifter
Program: L.A.C.I`s Spiritual Empowerment Program 
(21DF Boot Camp:2011 Goals)